Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
