at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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