Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
