well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think my moral compass just broke
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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