we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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