Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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