I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
