just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
