i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
