I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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