i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
