I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
