where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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