Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
