Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
