Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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