I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
