I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
