I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
