12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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