I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
