is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
