So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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