Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
