He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize