I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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