Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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