I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize