i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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