This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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