My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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