I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
