I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize