You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
