Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize