so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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