You really coming over, don't trick.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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