I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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