STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
