I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
