Do you still have your period?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
