ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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