Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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