Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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