I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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