You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize