i want to fuck
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it's pretty self explanatory
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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