girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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