I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
