I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
