i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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