drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
