Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
