Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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