Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
