What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
