This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
