Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
