i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
