So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
