You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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